Bits and pieces of my life
A testimony to perseverance and diligence

The post above was posted by me yesterday into an anonymous-based confession page of my uni. I chose to hide my identity there as I didn't want to garner sympathy or praises of any sort from my fellow college mates for my own life story that happened as it did. Talk about being inconspicuous.

But seeing that it is also a form of testimony and could potentially serve as an inspiration to some lost souls, I would like to repost the original post with a few appends to it :)

Here's the full post :-

   To everyone grappling with financial struggle and constant civil wars within your families, please don't lose hope. Never give up. Know that every cloud has a silver lining. There's always a beacon of hope emanating from somewhere. We just have to keep working our way towards it. 

   Having been there done that, I can affirm that not being too absorbed in the hodge-podge but rather focusing on what's ahead and need to be done reaps a bounty harvest. And this would mean persevering through it all. 

I was and will continue to be a living testimony to this.

Here's my brief life story, the story thus far.

1) My parents, as I can vividly remember, would always quarrel with one another.
2) The financial strain my family experienced was always a mounting pressure.
3) My siblings and I inadvertently picked up hatefullness from our parents. We found ways to vent our frustrations at one another through dramatic sibling rivalries.
4) My parents eventually reached a mutual decision to not have anything to do with one another. My father ran away from home twice with the second time being the final time. He never came back.
5) My mother became a single mother henceforth. She works around the clock to make ends meet. Things have never got any easier.
6) My parents never officially divorced and that has been a major problem for me when applying for scholarships and loans. No information about my father. No proves that my parents are separated. No prove that my father is not contributing to the family's monetary needs.
6) Despite the struggles I faced , I managed to obtain straight A's for UPSR(5A's), PMR(7A's) and SPM(7A+, 2A's). I also had an excellent track record. This was achieved without attending any tuition centers. And no, I'm no genius or any sort like that. I'm of average intellect. I'm a slow but a steady and determined learner.
7) I was very hopeful about getting a scholarship to further my studies for pre-u. Unfortunately, of the 11 applications I sent in, I proved successful for none. 
8) On the brighter side, my eldest sister and her husband have been able to contribute for my pre-u studies on top of the partial funding I received from my study loan.
9) I'm currently in my second semester for my foundation course and I hold a 4.00 CGPA from my last semester. I am working towards maintaining a streak to hopefully land myself yet another scholarship opportunity. 

  Sometimes when I look back in retrospect, I do think that things were unfair at certain points of my life. I mean it is hard to forgo that natural inclination especially when you're surrounded by so many others who are clearly far better off than you, right?
Often when this happens I like to remind myself that life wasn't even meant to be fair in the first place considering how fairness in life would take into account all aspects one can imagine of. Put simply, a fair life is nothing more than just a figment of the fictitious world we sometimes pretend to live in- a place where all sorts of delusion flourish in. 

As someone wise once said, "Life is only unfair with the delusion that it should be fair". This quote spoke volumes to me.

   Whatever the stakes, we have a purpose in each of our lives. Petty first-world problems that come in in between are nothing but what they exactly are, first-world problems! 

Each time you are going through some hardship and feel like hoisting the white flag, think again. Reevaluate the problem. Come up with solutions. Think straight. 

  There are many others who are fighting a harder battle that are not even tantamount to what either of us are going through. This is not to say that you should understate and not acknowledge the problems you're facing, but rather you should be proactive in helping alleviate the very burden that is on your shoulders.

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